Week 3: Seeing with new eyes

I wonder if the swan has always recognized itself as one...

I wonder if the swan has always recognized itself as one…

 

Ahhh, intention, you are a crafty fellow. You knew that I’d be challenged starting this trek around the holidays, and I suppose you are chuckling as you observe me now.

No, friends, I have not given up – not by a long shot, nor will I. What did happen was a week that became unexpectedly spent away from home and in what I like to consider my “retreat” – the apartment of one of my closest friends in Manhattan.  The distractions were many and I confess that I spent more time sampling tasty holiday treats than I did actively sitting in Intention. But as I now read over the suggestions from last week’s chapter on its Seven Faces (creativity, kindness, love, beauty, expansion, unlimited abundance, and receptivity), I believe that however meandering my steps may sometimes be, the ideas and lessons are seeping in nonetheless.

I actually titled this post after completing it, and am adding this paragraph in to boot. Through I knew that this experience would provide new insights, I’m struck by how much that simple phrase, ”Seeing with new eyes”, resonates. At the very heart of nearly everything I’ve done in life have been seeds that were sown years and years before I even contemplated that they might grow into something completely different that what I needed them to be. With a restored ability to see beyond those old shoots, it’s no surprise that my garden needs to be replanted and nurtured anew.

To this past week’s lessons:

The first suggestion was to visualize the power of intention. Still so difficult—my mind jumps and turns at the mere idea of focusing (my next goal may well be to learn and practice meditation, as I think it would do me wonders). Despite that, I have begun to be more aware of my feelings and thought patterns. I recognize when old fears and attitudes threaten to block out new ones, and I am a bit better at gently moving them out of the way.

Next I was asked to be reflective, and resist the judging that so often accompanies daily life. I’ve actually seen some growth here. My normal response to so much over the course of my life has been “what does this say about me?” or “how can I deal with this (event, person, consequence)?”. Maybe it’s just age, but I find myself more accepting, even appreciative, of people and actions that would have driven a younger version of me insane. This is NOT to say that I don’t still get irked by what I consider idiocy or foolishness. I have yet to achieve the Wayne Dyer level of acceptance and gratitude for people and things that seem to embody the antithesis of what I value. No, I’ve definitely done some talking back to the TV and kvetching about the various “Dynasties” of the world—the difference seems to be in how quickly I can turn back to the more reflective state.

“Expect beauty” and “Meditate on appreciation”, Wayne advised next. I actually do the latter quite a bit. For every day of struggle, something or someone reminds me that I am quite lucky. I have an amazing group of friends, a supportive family, and the love and encouragement of some very special individuals. Some days are still a little harder than others. News this past week of another school shooting and a beautiful young woman gone, or a carjacking that left a young man dead and a young woman widowed—these events continue to stun and scare me.  My mind can’t reconcile them with the messages of love and peace I’m supposed to be learning, and I go through those moments where finding beauty seems impossible. I watch and listen and wonder about the usefulness of prayers, or the belief that there is a benevolent spirit keeping watch.

Ironically, or maybe not, the final thought for this week is to banish doubt. I am taking this on a personal level and acknowledging that without a sense of belief and certainty in my own ability to do so, creating this new life will be impossible. Wayne seemed to sense the disparity, for at the very end of the chapter he advised, “”You may choose to doubt what others say to you or what you experience with your senses, but… don’t doubt your creation from a field of energy that’s always available to you.” Once again, I’m gonna have to trust that the man knows of what he speaks.

The next chapter is titled, “Connecting to Intention” and starts with a quote by Thomas Troward that I like a lot:

“The law of floatation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things, but by contemplating the floating of things which floated naturally, and then intelligently asking why they did so.

It appears to be a somewhat practical chapter, perhaps suited to my left-brained way of thinking. Wayne talks about will and imagination and provides ways to apply the seven faces and make them part of one’s life. He mentions Japa meditation—I may have to get out my other book after all and get that ball rolling as part of this grand experiment. There are also stories in this chapter of people living in Intention, the kind that usually make me tear up and scold myself for my cynicism.

I do see that the last suggestion talks about God’s abundance. Here we go again. Keep moving forward, Paula, don’t get caught up. Stay on point, recognize that “God” can be used as a symbol for Nature, for the goodness in the universe that you DO believe in. There will be time and space to study the many ideas and beliefs of the world. This path to Intention is not a religious one, nor must you subscribe to any one system to walk it. Trust in yourself.

“Okay, Self,” I hear myself say out loud (a perk of living alone) – “I’ll do that.”

The trolley image continues to be front and center in my mind, and I’ve found that the image is powerful for me. I am trying to visualize this vehicle that is at once me, but at the same time more than me, so that the energy needed to move forward comes from both of us.

I can get on board for that.

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About Paula

I am a brilliant writer with the thoughts of a genius, the habits of a sloth, and the perseverance of an ant. View all posts by Paula

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